Kathleen is the author of The Law of Redemption: What Must One Do to Go to Heaven? Throughout the pages of her book, Kathleen candidly shares her testimony of how she fell into legalism, her struggles, her confusion, and how God supernaturally and graciously stepped in and delivered her. Through this book, her goal is to expose legalism (the religion of dead works), teach faith through love, and present the liberating truth of the grace of God as both the unmerited favor of God and the power of God to live holy.
In January 2010, my husband, Paul, and I became licensed ministers with the Independent Assemblies of God International Canada (IAOGIC).
While I looked successful on the outside, I began to spiral downward on the inside. I could barely remember the time when my heart wasn’t racing from the driving force to do better, be better, and from my endless quest to make sense of the grace of God. I was in a catastrophic situation. I was miserable. And I was under a sense of condemnation almost continually. My spiritual performance, my sins, and the need to witness with excellence tormented me. I was a Christian, but I definitely had no joy. And I could hardly sleep at night.
When I had given my heart to Jesus, there had been such peace and joy. How had I gotten to this place? What was wrong with me? This was the cry of my heart. And God, in His faithfulness, answered me.
One day, driving home from work, I cried out to God in desperation. “God! What is wrong with me?” And that night, by the grace of God, I was able to fall asleep. God gave me two dreams in response to my cry.
In the first dream, God showed me that witchcraft was the problem in my life. “Witchcraft?” I asked God. I’d left the occult years ago, long before I even gave my life to Jesus. How can this be?
I went into our home office that morning and sat down beside the desk, absorbed with the dreams I had just received. There happened to be a book written by Derek Prince entitled Lucifer Exposed: The Devil’s Plan to Destroy Your Life sitting on our office desk. Still wondering about the witchcraft part of the first dream, I casually picked up the book and randomly opened it. The sentence my eyes fell on was this: “Wherever we encounter legalism, somewhere behind it is witchcraft.” My eyes widened. Oh my goodness! You can be sure that God had all my attention then. As I began reading that section of the book, to my amazement I quickly realized that legalism described exactly what I was going through.
Shortly after, I fervently asked the Lord, “What must I do that if I keep doing it, and doing it, and doing it, I will get better and better and better?” That night, glory be to God, I was able to fall asleep. It was 5:30 in the morning when an audible voice woke me up saying, “What must one do to go to heaven?” The voice began as a man’s voice and quickly transformed into a child’s voice. That morning, God showed me a foundational truth. He showed me that the faith and disposition of a healthy Christian is that of a child.
From that day on, I entered into a journey to learn how to become like a little child again. God is indeed our Wonderful Counsellor!